1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
2. One day a little girl was watching her mother do the dishes when she noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something naughty, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this and then asked, "Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
3. The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Think how nice it will be when you're older and can say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she is dead."
4. A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. What's this? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without hesitating, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
5. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."